I have a rule for my life: I only look back at my life to measure how far I’ve come. I am always momentarily overwhelmed by the mistakes I have made and the regrets I have, and that’s a good thing for me. It motivates me. More importantly, my heart is filled with gratitude for the forgiveness and the grace I’ve been given, even though I certainly didn’t deserve any of it.
Don’t be so spiritually minded that you are no earthly good. I believe your life was meant to be more than a religious summary of heaven and hell. Your fight for your truth should define your life; it’s all about what happens between the day you are born and whatever you chose to believe in after your body dies, what happens in the middle.
Some people spend so much time lost in regret that they never are able to live in the present. Some people are so worried or afraid about the future that they miss the meaning their life was supposed to bring them today. Many of us are not the influencer of our own lives; instead, the momentum and the moment's emotion hold power, so many people aren’t aware enough to see life is happening to them.
S&H
Keep Coming Forward!
Jim Hensel
Taylor and Brit, I love you both more than anything in my life; it’s crazy, I don’t even have to try; it just pours out of my heart for you. Family is one of my core values, and what it means in my life is always evolving and growing. I know this, no one can make it on their own, and if you are going to become 100% of the women you were designed to BE, you need each other.
It’s just true that any mature person is trying to make the biggest choices for their life based on their strongest beliefs. It’s also true that how we live our lives, how we respond to adversity is a reflection of what’s in our heart Identity and how we think Mindset through the lens of our Core Values strongest beliefs.
Mindset Matters, when you are clear and intentional about why and how to make your choices when you can capture your emotions and learn to use momentum, it becomes possible to stay motivated, set proper goals and establish and execute a routine that will move you forward. You ask, why can’t we just focus on our physical ability and train that?
I’m not an expert on PTSD by any means, but I have learned that soldiers who primarily have a job as a hunter, intentionally training for missions that put them on offense, always aggressive, training and attacking are generally less susceptible to the effects of the trauma from PTSD. Conversely, soldiers in more defensive jobs who spent more time waiting or wondering when danger will strike, who feel hunted, are more susceptible to the effects of PTSD, more so than the hunters.
It’s interesting to recognize that this is how our hearts and minds are wired. We can use this knowledge to help solve some problems and overcome some of our weaknesses physically, mentally, and spiritually.
PHYSICAL
It’s always funny to me to see that guy with the giant upper body and chicken legs strutting around the gym. He never trains his weaknesses. Try intentionally attacking and training one of your physical weaknesses first thing after you have warmed up. Since your energy level and mental focus are greater before you tired, use this opportunity to create more intensity and prioritize the skill, technique, or body part that needs the most work. It feels much better to grind at something we are good at. It’s much harder to deal with looking bad and struggling at something we don’t do well. It’s just true if you want to maximize your physical potential, purposefully attack your weaknesses.
Mindset Tool: We are limited by language. Write down in your own words the value of training that weakness, so you get clear about why you're doing it. Write about how overcoming that weakness will positively affect you, and if you don’t address it, how it might eventually hold you back. Next, set a short term goal and a long term goal. Cast a vision for your success. Finally, identify two or three different exercises that address that weakness and put them in your training routine. Success or failure is all about your commitment to consistently training inside a good routine ..... or don’t worry about it and live with those chicken legs ha
MENTAL
Jordan Peterson said, “Be braver, not less afraid.” That rings true in my heart. It's been my experience that the adversity I have faced either helped refine me and build more character in my life, or it tried to define me, as heartache and disappointment began to overwhelm me. Growing and maturing as a person will require us to understand that we are actually choosing failure when we retreat and hide instead of aggressively attacking the problem.
Mindset Tool: Strength, not weakness, attack, not retreat. I like to picture adversity as a dragon. If the dragon you are squared off with could analyze and evaluate you, it should see you as dangerous! Don’t avoid the dragon; draw your sword (mindset tools and core values) and attack the dragon!
SPIRITUAL
The truth here is hard for me to swallow. To make mistakes and fall short of what we say we believe in has always been part of the human condition. The world isn’t safe. Let me use the spiritual term sin. Sin means to miss the mark, it’s an archery term. Sin is everywhere, and you won’t be able to overcome it with the mindset of trying to avoid it. Instead, we must consciously, daily attack our shortcomings with the intent to destroy them based on a clear plan. It’s just true that if we keep missing the mark because of the same sin day after day, year after year, then we haven’t honestly taken on the responsibility and challenge of destroying that shortcoming. Truthfully, we have chosen to remain in that sin. Either that’s the truth, or that shortcoming will always be more powerful in your life than what you claim to believe in.
Destroying the sin in our lives doesn’t happen by just talking about it, bringing it into the light, confessing it, or simply reciting quotes, mantras or scriptures. Accountability is a cop-out unless you are willing, committed, and prepared to fight. That’s just true because we all know people who have shared all the details of what they say are the shortcomings in their life, asked for support and help, but nothing ever changes for them. In my life, it took losing everything, rock bottom, sink or swim, before it got real for me, and I still have to fight for my truth every day.
Mindset Tool: If you can’t be safe from sin, be dangerous to it! If you have the courage and you know you're prepared and committed, try this exercise. Make a list of your shortcomings. Based on what you believe about it, rank your sin from the worst sin to the white lie. Just the act of honestly writing this down will help reveal how serious about this you are. Next, create a plan. What are you willing to do in order to destroy the sin?
To be successful, what you decide to do has to be anchored by your personal understanding of what purpose and identity is in your life and grounded by a clear understanding of your strongest beliefs or your core values because that’s how you hold yourself accountable and accurately aim at what you believe is the right thing to do. Next, set your goals and execute your plan inside a consistent routine until you destroy the dragon or get good at driving it away.
What’s the alternative? Continue to lie to yourself and others. Continue to hide or run from your shortcomings while allowing your emotions and the momentum of life to push you around, all while the shame of never really committing to living out your values keeps you from becoming 100% of the person you were designed to BE.
Hunt the dragons, or they will hunt you. Define yourself, or somebody will do it for you.
Here is the Mayhem Mindset Formula to create a vision for your life: Identity + Values + Great Routine = an actionable vision. If you are ready to get prepared and you are looking for a process to develop a vision or a plan for your life, check mayhemmindset.com
Keep Coming Forward!
Jim Hensel
Mayhem Mindset Creator
In my life, forgiveness has become one of the most powerful values I use to take my ego and emotions out of the situation so I can respond from a clear-minded values-based place. When my emotions drive me, I tend to strike back in a vengeful way instead of countering in a just manner. I tend to start playing God, judging someone’s heart instead of their actions.
Physical: Our actions have consequences. Those actions carry varied consequences in our society. Being able to make values-based judgments are foundational to the safety and security required to make our families, community, and society function properly.
Mental: Forgiveness doesn't mean that I’m saying what's been done is o.k., or I’m validating the other person's actions. Forgiveness frees my heart from negative emotions and opens up my ability to respond and act appropriately. Forgiveness also shifts the responsibility to the other person to become accountable for their actions. As a leader, I must have the ability to respond based on my role and my responsibility. What does the other person need from me, grace, truth, or something in between?
Spiritual: Someone once said unforgiveness is like you drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Unforgiveness clouds your ability to hear your heart. We have to be able to forgive, so we respond to adversity appropriately and so that we don’t impede our personal growth. Most importantly, forgiveness creates room for the healing our heart needs to keep coming forward.
The question to answer: Where is unforgiveness causing you to respond in a vengeful way and holding you back from being 100% of who you were created to BE?
Keep Coming Forward!
Jim Hensel
Mayhem Mindset Creator
In the Mayhem Mindset Game, being Ready means you have your emotions in the right place at the moment, but you haven’t done the work required to succeed. Being Ready is not enough. Being Prepared means your emotions are under control, and you have done the work to make the most of the opportunity in front of you or to give yourself a fighting chance when you're facing tough times.
Avoid the trap of getting stuck emoting and only pointing out problems. Do the work to contribute to solving the problems. In so many cases, the problem is self-evident; it’s obvious to most of us at some level, it’s easy to spend the majority of our time just rehashing the problem.
1. Letting your emotions run wild is easy; expressing your opinion feels good; you might even be justified and have the right, but don’t let that be the extent of it.
2. Being a critical thinker is hard; it requires you to do some research, to get educated, to resist being offended and stop trying to answer complex problems with emotional responses, slogans, or with oversimplified ideology.
3. Having answers to problems, charting a path forward, or creating a vision will mean you can clearly communicate why your beliefs and values can make a difference in solving the problem. You have to do a good job communicating so that others are persuaded by what you think and believe.
4. Solving problems should start with each one of us as individuals, making sure we are living out the answers in our own lives. Next, be a positive influence in your family and grow that outward to your community and society as a whole.
BEWARE! Pointing out the problems is only a part of a leader's responsibility.
BEWARE! When someone says, “let’s just tear it all down and start over” without clearly being able or willing to demonstrate the new way forward. Obviously, we want to replace what’s broke with something that’s works better.
BEWARE! Getting caught in the momentum of emotion can leave you susceptible to being used, and manipupated.
Capture your emotion and develop your answer to the problem.
Define Yourself ... DON’T GET USED!
Keep Coming Forward!
Jim Hensel
Mayhem Mindset Creator
