There is always perspective at the end of anything, wisdom that you can't see until it's finished. Slow down, look for it, and grow wiser. Carl taught me that. Carl passed away on June 1st, 2023, and I want to honor him today and share with you some of the wisdom he gave me.
For two years, I went to Poets Coffee shop in Cookeville, Tennessee, every morning at 7 AM as I was writing the Mayhem Mindset course. Every morning, there were always three other men at the coffee shop, and we all became friends. My morning started with 5 to 10 minutes of conversation with these gentlemen. Three of us had our first names in common. We called ourselves "The 3 Jim's and Carl."
At first glance, Carl appeared to be reserved and frail. I remember thinking I needed to tone it down for him, but that changed immediately after our first conversation. He was a good listener, but when he spoke, it was with a gracious kind of authority that made it easy to receive. He talked with a confidence that comes from real-life experience. Carl told me he was active in the AA community in Cookeville and was passionate about being there for anyone who wanted help overcoming substance abuse.
Carl always started our conversations by asking me how Kristen (my wife) was doing, and he always wanted to know if I was taking care of her. In the most gracious way, he challenged me to remember to sacrifice and give to her. He said not only was it the right thing to do, but that it would be worth it in the end. He reminded me that taking care of that relationship was like putting money in the bank; it was like saving for the future. He shared with me some of the loneliness he felt as an older man who was in poor health and how he had lived for the moment for so many years without realizing that there would be real consequences and burdens he wouldn't be able to escape at the end.
Carl said that there was always something to learn, something worth thinking about at the end of everything. He cautioned me not to ever think I had life figured out. He told me to be mature enough to slow down and make sure to find the wisdom and perspective at the end of everything. He knew I liked to work out; he said there was wisdom at the end of every workout. He said there was wisdom to be found at the end of every single day, there was wisdom or perspective at the end of everything. Carl told me it was easy to be emotional and start something, but it takes courage and maturity to finish well and then grow stronger from the truth that you can find at the end.
I think that all the emotion and momentum generated by our modern society and the algorithms that guide most people keep us in a state of perpetual motion and rob us of the wisdom that comes from thinking deeply at the end of what we are doing, and it steals from us the opportunity to slow down, recover, and grow stronger. We weren't designed as humans to always be in motion. To live life well means we all need answers for our lives physically, mentally, and spiritually. Staying healthy and growing requires motivation at the start, a strong values-based resolution through the middle, and the courage to be intentional and learn and apply the truth you find at the end of everything you do.
I am a better man because of the wisdom Carl spoke into my life. Thank you, Carl. Rest in peace.
Keep Coming Forward,
Jim Hensel
